Shit My Dad Says

"Michael Jackson loves pedifiles."
"Get this snow off my back."
"That shovel is as useless as the tits on a boarhog."
"Al Gore can meet me in Hell."
"We aren't getting mail til' March."
"Ahhhhh, I gotta cramp, that's just insult to injury."
"Al Gore can suck it!!"
"They're living in Maryland, hell with em'."
"The broom isn't doing dickola."
"I want a soda, but i'm too tired to get up."
"I wanna beat Simple Jack today in Hooville."
"Oh, that's not a foul! But if a white guy does it, it's a foul."
"You bald son of a bitch!!!"
"The Saints invented the paper bag."
"Undercover Boss is as good as my ass."
"Slap the bitch."
"There's a donk."
"Child Please."