A bare stage. BRETT FAVRE stands in the center, in a spotlight. It is dark all around him. A single chair is on stage left. BRETT FAVRE steps forward, steps back, rubs his stubble. Then he speaks.
BRETT FAVRE:
Midway through life’s football journey
I found myself in a dark wood
Mike Sherman had been dumped as coach
I wasn’t sure just where I stood
I was banged up, bruised, and bloodied
Sixteen seasons with the Packers
Scrambling, flinging, and gunslinging,
Getting cracked by huge linebackers
ESPN came to ask me
What I thought the future held
I looked deep inside myself to
See which way I was impelled
I’ll bet you didn’t think I knew
What a word like “impelled” means
It means urged or motivated
I am not just a pair of jeans.
BRETT FAVRE steps back. He sighs. He steps forward again.
BRETT FAVRE:
So I looked deep inside myself
And found the courage to play on
So that was how the crisis passed
That was the first denouement
Back to Green Bay for the season
I think that we went eight and eight
That is highly equivocal
Neither abysmal nor great
It ended when we beat the Bears
And once again I was unsure
Was the strain to mind and body
Something that I could endure?
Again I went to introspect
Again, I limned my deepest aim
Again, I rediscovered my
Abiding love for this fine game.
BRETT FAVRE walks to the chair. He sits down in it.
BRETT FAVRE:
In 2007, we played
With such toughness and defiance
We would have made the Super Bowl
If it were not for the Giants
For me, that spelled a perfect end
To my illustrious career
I announced my retirement
I may have even shed a tear.
A month went by. On “Letterman”
I acknowledged some regrets
Green Bay wouldn’t let me go, so
I got traded to the Jets
That was ’08, mediocre
In every sense of the word
Twenty-two TDs and picks both.
Again, the quitting feelings stirred.
From behind the chair, BRETT FAVRE produces a top hat. He puts it on his head. He stands in silence for ten seconds.
BRETT FAVRE:
Well, I see that I’m surprising
Some of you out in the crowd
My eloquence, my thoughtfulness
How I convey my thoughts aloud
I left the Jets after ’08
My time in uniform was through.
I told the Vikings no, then yes.
My time in spikes began anew
The season there was glorious
We almost made the Super Bowl
This time New Orleans kept us from
Reaching that exalted goal
And so it goes. And so it is.
Yet another vexed offseason.
My body’s old. My ankle’s weak.
I weigh passion against reason.
BRETT FAVRE stands. He takes off his top hat and sets it on the chair. He returns to the center of the stage. He stands in silence for twenty seconds.
BRETT FAVRE:
Audiences sometimes witness
Things onstage that are surprising
I give you something rarer still:
One lone man soliloquizing.
I offer you a portrait of
A great man who can be fickle
That man, you see, is me. It’s me!
I’ve said the same to Rachel Nichols
Why am I damned for waffling?
I did not commit a murder
I merely changed my mind sometimes.
Ask Jay Glazer. Ask Ed Werder.
And now, the present precipice.
I just can’t say what happens next
Will I suit up for the Vikings?
Did I send explicit texts?
BRETT FAVRE returns to the chair. He puts on the top hat. He stands in silence for thirty seconds.
BRETT FAVRE:
Perhaps my story leaves you cold
Perhaps you find my tale boring
Perhaps you think I’m self-indulgent
Why, then, are you not ignoring?
The exit doors behind you there
Are not locked or chained or barred
Feel free to stand and leave
If you hold me in low regard.
Let me repeat: you are not trapped
No one has locked you in a cage
But if you stay, I am the one
You must watch on this darkened stage
Once there was a hunger artist
People came to see him starve
I am the Retirement Artist
Also, humbly, yours, Brett Favre
BRETT FAVRE bows. The top hat falls off his head. Fade to black before it stops wobbling.
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